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Ellen Roggemann

- what makes you feel held? -

What makes you feel held?

I hiked the woods this week with loppers in hand waiting to be struck by the beauty of a particular tree. One eucalyptus in a grove of eucalyptus that had a purple tint or an oak with larger-than-usual pillow-like leaves. And I listened to the ferns recite our origin story reminding me of the past we spring from.

What makes you feel held?

I walked out from the barn yesterday to prune some berries for a wreath or two and the coastal wind cooed in my ear. The sun winked through the clouds. The air smelled like the embers of a fire. And I could feel my mother lift my chin and whisper, "my beautiful doll."

What makes you feel held?

One day in my early twenties I walked on the beach in Maine with my dear friend Phakphum, the sweetest man with the most infectious laugh who farms rice and peanuts in Surin, Thailand. There was kelp washed up on shore, "Do you eat that?" he asked. No, I replied. We walked past a tree with leaves he recognized. "Do you eat that?" he asked.  "No," I replied.

"Why do you buy things in boxes when there is food all around you?" he asked. And I did not have an answer.

What makes you feel held?

Nature is always there, providing. When I remember to see it, to appreciate it, to marvel at it, I knowingly feel the beauty and security that surrounds me. 

In nature I feel rooted, connected, supported, taken care of, so small and yet so big. That is what these wreaths mean to me. That is what this time of year can be about.

Love, giving, and receiving. Love, giving, and receiving.